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A CAT CALLED MERLOT

Thursday 2nd September 2021

At number 21, The Avenue, this week, Mrs Waters has been looking for a contractor to build an extension to her house. So far, she has invited quotes from around 25 builders. Some are emerging red-faced and ruffled after being given a ‘tour of the site’, while others have made second or third appointments to absolutely nail down the specification. Her posts on the website for local tradespeople had to be taken down as it turned into a rather strange version of Tinder. Queenie and her friend Marcus Briggs from number 18 thought it was hilarious that in the ‘State Your Requirements To Your Builder’ box she had put: “Well over six feet high, steel core, any colour, weight bearing, solvent.” 

On Bank Holiday Saturday, Marjorie and I chilled on Judith’s sofa with a little recreational nip and listened to ‘Cool For Cats’ by Squeeze. 

On Sunday I made a new friend at the Last Gasp Residential Home. I snuck in when I noticed they were having crayfish sandwiches for tea and the person in question was kind enough to donate a corner of her’s.  Her name is Elsie Smith but she likes to be known as Devora Gloriana and she told me she could tell me stories about her life that would make my fur curl. While I’m curious, I really don’t want a perm. Devora’s nearly one hundred years old, smells of talcum powder and she has white wavy hair and twinkly blue eyes. Apparently she was an actress in her younger days. I heard Gary say she still has “all her marbles” which is pretty impressive. Luke and Saffron’s son from number 36, Oliver, has marbles and we play with them sometimes. He flicks them and I dive and give them a good old swipe to send them under the sofa – game over. Whilst I get told off, it makes him  giggle. I’m a bit worried though, that if Devora gets down on the floor for a game, she won’t be able to get up again and will have to press the red button round her neck. She told me confidentially that it really shouldn’t be touched, as it’s directly connected to the mobile phone of the President of the Unites States and could easily trigger a nuclear war! Given the recent news, I think he’s unlikely to want to get involved in further conflict, so Devora needs to be very careful. As I watched her unsteadily weaving her way towards her room, with the help of her zimmer frame, after a small glass of dry sherry, I suddenly realised how fragile our existence is. 

8 replies on “A CAT CALLED MERLOT”

P.S. Please don’t even think about pushing the red button, we are barely able to deal with what he’s already done over here. 😺

Dear Merlot, please don’t get a perm, as you are so handsome as is! 🐱 Since I live in a “Last Gasp” home I am very familiar with marbles, some residents still have some, some have never had them ever! I believe I’m somewhere in between. Glad you and Margorie are having some restful time together, wishing a peaceful week for both of you. 😺😺.

Another interesting week for you Merlot. Your life is full to bursting with such colourful characters! Your last sentence “our existence is so fragile “ is so poignant, yet so true. Methinks you ought to cuddle up on the sofa as much as you can with dear Marjorie. Especially as we nearly lost her a couple of weeks ago! ! X

Love the marbles! And the red button – I suspect Elsie/Devora might make as sensible a decision about using it as any of the senior politicians around today. Watch out Merlot!

Dear Merlot you have quite a life
The cray fish sandwiches sound yummy but a fur perm 🙀 oh no
Love to Queenie Marjorie and you my friend Merlot thank you for entertaining us

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